Ghost Protocol: a suggested trailer
by Mister Buch
Summary: In the wake of a BIG EXPLOSION, special agent Ethan Hunt has only twelve hours to infiltrate a society party held by ghosts. But can he learn the proper PROTOCOL in time for the mission?  I haven't seen the film yet. This is what it's about, right?


**A suggested trailer for the new Mission: Impossible movie**

(by someone who hasn't seen the film yet)

* * *

><p><strong>TITLE AGAINST GREEN CARD:<br>The following ****preview**** has been approved for ****appropriate audiences**** (you know who you are) by the Motion Picture Association of America, inc.**

**BLACK SCREEN**. Silence. Slowly fade-in: a European cityscape in the daytime. There is a sudden bass thump, beginning some ominous music. Pan right. Fade out.

**FADE IN**within the walls of a serious-but-European-looking government building. There are soldiers. Move closer. Fade out.

**FADE IN AGAIN** to SIMON PEGG on some kind of complex telephone system. No beard.  
>SIMON PEGG: Comm check? We're live. Drift... just under fifteen-hundred K.<br>Fade out.

**JUMP IN**to a fast-paced shot of a man with great hair and a pair of glasses. As a shadow passes overhead, he removes them to reveal that he is TOM CRUISE.

**BACK TO SIMON PEGG.**  
>SIMON: Ethan, is that you?<p>

**CLOSE UP ON TOM.**  
>TOM: It's me.<br>SIMON (v/o): Oh my God.  
>TOM: I know. I don't even <em>wear<em> glasses.  
>SIMON (vo): No, I mean... _look out!_

**EXPLOSION.**The music reaches a crescendo, then stops abruptly. Tom is thrown into the air and waves his arms around with an agonised look. Jump to black screen.

**PAUSE**. Then fade in to an interrogation room. Tom is there, and so is ANTHONY HOPKINS, the Head of the IMF. He looks all-knowing and vaguely amused. Tom has a scar.  
>TOM: What happened?<br>HOPKINS: Easy, Mister Hunt. You've had a rough day.  
>TOM: What happened to Europe?<br>HOPKINS: It's safe... for now. But we need your help.  
>TOM: No, damn it! I've retired from the Impossible Missions business! Twice! Frankly at this stage my continued success is making a mockery of the whole organisation.<br>HOPKINS: We need you and your team, Ethan. Everyone else was killed in the explosion.

**CUT** to a shot of VING RHAMES on a stretcher. Also TOM'S WIFE from part 3. Pan up to Tom's face, from below. He closes his eyes and moves his bottom lip around a bit, then sharply turns to HOPKINS, who is still amused by something.  
>TOM: What do you need?<br>HOPKINS (outright smirking): The impossible, Mister Hunt.  
>TOM: Yes, but... specifically.<br>HOPKINS: Follow me.  
>TOM: I can do that.<p>

**SHOW THE PRODUCER LOGOS**for Paramount, Skydance and Bad Robot. There is a pounding beat and more music starts up, gathering tempo as the trailer continues.

**REVEAL** a dark office where a TV-wall displays a strangely fuzzy black and white image of a beautiful woman, LEA SEYDOUX.  
>TOM (confused): Who's this?<br>HOPKINS: The woman with all the answers, Ethan. It will be up to you to infiltrate the gala ball she's holding this evening, and find out what she knows about the explosion. Simon Pegg has already printed-off an invitation, using his computer.

SHOW TITLE: From visionary director Brad Bird, maker of _Jak Jak Attack_ and _Do the Bartman_...

TOM: Why do you think she knows anything?  
>HOPKINS: Because she was there. Right at the centre. (Smirks). She died in it.<br>Tom is now very confused. Zoom into the picture. The music changes key, as if the conductor suddenly figured something out and got distracted.  
>TOM: You don't mean...<br>HOPKINS: A _ghost_, Ethan...

TITLE: And co-written by the acclaimed author of several episodes of _Alias_, and one episode of _Martial Law_...

(JEREMY RENNER enters the room holding some files. He looks pissed-off.)  
>JEREMY: And it's up to you to get something out of her, Ethan. One chance. One night.<br>TOM: You must be joking.  
>HOPKINS (smirks): Do I look like I'm joking?<br>TOM: K... kinda...  
>Jeremy slams the files onto the table.<br>Jeremy: He's not.

TITLE: Tom Cruise, in...

TOM: Damn it, Jeremy Renner, this is ridiculous! A cocktail party for ghosts?

TITLE: _Misson: Impossible_

They stare at him. Zoom-into Tom's face.  
>TOM: But I don't know the proper protocol!<br>They stare again. Jeremy is grinding his teeth with his lips held open. Tom suddenly looks serious. His scar is now gone.  
>TOM: Good thing I'm a quick study.<p>

Jump to black. The music suddenly cuts-out again.  
>TITLE: <em>GHOST PROTOCOL<em>

**SUDDENLY**we are at the party. Tom is walking around, looking suave but uneasy. There are GHOSTS all around him, chatting and drinking. He breathes. The Mission: Impossible theme music kicks-in, very softly.

**FLASHBACK** to the IMF Secret Office. Tom, Jeremy, Simon Pegg and PAULA PATTON are standing around looking cool. Paula's bottom is in-shot.  
>PAULA: All right, Ethan, lesson one. I'm a ghost. Greet me.<br>Tom holds out his hand to shake hers. Jeremy smashes his fist into a filing cabinet.  
>PAULA: WRONG, Ethan. I can't shake hands BECAUSE I AM A GHOST. Perhaps ironically, YOU'RE DEAD.<br>Tom looks concerned.  
>JEREMY: The hell is wrong with you, Ethan? We can't afford a god-damn <em>faux-pas<em> like that at this stage! Don't you know anything about protocol? The protocol of ghosts?  
>Simon Pegg watches with his mouth open.<p>

**BACK AT THE PARTY** we see a ghost gentleman introduce himself to Tom. Our hero smiles handsomely and reflexively outstretches his hand. Just in the nick of time, he pretends to adjust his cufflinks.  
>The GHOST MAN smiles. Tom winks at his ghostly wife as he leaves, and they both seem pleased.<br>**QUICKLY CUT**to Simon Pegg at his complicated phone, who breathes a loud sigh of relief and sinks into his chair.

**FLASHBACK AGAIN** to the office, and everyone has changed positions. Paula and Tom are dancing. It is tense.  
>Close-up on Tom's face. There is a single bead of sweat but he is keeping his cool. Suddenly, Paula stops.<br>PAULA: Ethan, did you just press your hand into the small of my back?  
>TOM: I...<br>JEREMY: Oh my GOD, Ethan! (he destroys the coffee machine.)  
>PAULA: You lose again. Did you forget you're dancing with a GHOST? YOUR HAND IS NOW INSIDE MY SPLEEN AND I AM BEING SICK.<br>TOM: I...  
>SIMON (grinning impishly): Looks like you're making a spectre-cle of yourself!<br>They all stare at Simon Pegg.

**THE PARTY AGAIN**, and now the franchise theme music is really kicking in. Tom and the ghostly Lea Seydoux are waltzing. Tom is keeping up, trying very hard not to touch her incorporeal form.  
>LEA: It is... how you say, a pleasure to see you here at my leetle party, Mister Hunt. I do not remember your name on ze guest leest...<br>TOM: You must have forgotten, _madame_, with all these other very fine and high-profile... uh, ghosts, here.  
>LEA: Ah monsiour, you 'av a way with words! It iz true, people are <em>dying<em> to get in thees soiree!  
>She watches him closely, ready to pounce on any social error he may make, such as getting embarassed or laughing.<br>Tom just smiles and increases the tempo of his dancing.  
>Briefly cut to Simon Pegg, watching.<br>SIMON: Wow...

**AS THE THEME MUSIC REALLY KICKS IN**, we see a montage of fast cuts from later scenes:  
>- Lea smiling miscievously to herself as the dance concludes.<br>- Tom narrowly slipping-past a necking ghost-couple he didn't see as he goes for some punch.  
>- Simon Pegg typing in a hurry, while we see a ghost creep up behind him in his office.<br>- Tom accidentally offering a glass of champagne to a young ghost girl, who tries to pick it up, and when Tom lets go it smashes to the floor!  
>- Paula staring in horror at a screen and then running out of the IMF building... as it explodes.<br>- Tom wiping his mouth on what he thinks is a napkin but is actually _a sheet worn by a highly respected and influential ghost!_  
>- Jeremy suddenly appearing at the party and revealing himself... to be a ghost!<br>- Tom trying to fight ghost-Jeremy, but all his punches somehow fail to connect, while Lea smiles behind them.  
>- Simon Pegg hastily reading through a book entitled <em>Ghost Society for Dummies<em>.  
>- Tom and Paula sharing a passionate kiss in the carpark as she arrives, covered in explosion stuff and with her hair kind of ruffled.<br>The music cuts out just before the music reaches the big climax.

**QUICK-FADE TO BLACK.** Then up. We are back at the party. Tom is now dining with several key ghosts, including Lea and Jeremy. They all-but-grin as they watch him take his seat. In front of him are an array of knives, forks and spoons. He has _no idea which one to use first_.  
>-TITLE: This December...<br>Tom looks at the knives, his hand aleady outstretched. He panics.  
>-TITLE: Ethan Hunt faces a challenge of etiquette... from beyond the grave...<br>Tom makes eye-contact with Lea, who tries to stare him down. The other ghosts seem anxious.  
>-TITLE: And he doesn't stand...<br>Boldly, still staring, Tom grabs a knife. We don't see which. Everyone gasps!  
>-TITLE: A GHOST OF A CHANCE.<br>Tom smiles menacingly across the table.  
>TOM: Forgive me for saying so, miss...<br>She looks frightened.  
>TOM: But you don't <em>scare<em> me. And what's more...  
>TOM: I can see...<p>

TOM: ..._right_ through you.  
>The camera follow him as he leaps across the table, directly through her ghostly body, and towards a detonator! A ghost faints.<p>

**THE THEME-TUNE** finally reaches its climax. Fade to black. The titles slingshot in from the sides of the screen.

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE

_GHOST PROTOCOL_

DECEMBER. In theatres and IMAX.


End file.
